Internet
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You know you are addicted to the Internet when... * You kiss your girlfriend's home page. * Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom. * Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them. * You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment. * All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3. * And even your night dreams are in HTML. * You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com * You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one. * You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading. * You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives. * Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like. * All of your friends have an @ in their names. * When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple. * You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Lycos. or [C]ontinue? * You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem. * You refer to your age as 3.x. * Even though you died last week, you've managed to retain OPS on your favorite IRC channel. * You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL. * You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask. * You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom. * You laugh at people with 2400 baud modems. * You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html * You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job. * Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed." * You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines useless. * You get a tatoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 1.1 or higher." |